Light Addictions
by remerkaba
Summary: Episode Tag to Season 4 Episode, The Light. I always thought there was a lot more going on between Jack and Sam on that walk down the beach than was shown... Should be 3 Chapters. First chapter Rated "T" but next two chapters might change the rating.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate or any of the characters you recognize. I'm just borrowing them for entertainment. There is no monetary gain and no copyright infringement intended. **The lines of dialog you recognize are from the show, the rest you don't recognize are from me.**

AN: I always thought the beach scene in "The Light" didn't make sense. I thought it was sort of clunky. I am having trouble with one of the chapters in the other story I'm writing and this sort of popped into my head to distract me. I have used the dialog from the show and put my own twist on it. Until I run out of Jack and Sam dialog, all their words are from the show unchanged; only the action has been changed. My first episode tag… thanks for reading…. As always, Thank you Gategirl7 for sticking with me! You rock!

Light Inhabitation

Chapter 1

Colonel Jack O'Neill looked out at the vast expanse of beach and ocean. Statues were in various positions along the sand. They were of fairly typical Goa'uld build. He'd come to expect and dread the Egyptian theme they seemed to dress all their planets in. He slowed his pace a bit and noticed that Teal'c was outdistancing he and Major Carter as she slowed to match his pace. The big guy could take care of himself and O'Neill knew he wouldn't go far.

Feeling hopelessness edge up his spine, Jack tried to push it away. He knew it was the effects of the Goa'uld light room, but he couldn't shake them. Glancing over at his 2IC, he was surprised to find her staring at the ocean, a single tear sliding down her cheek. "What?" he barked, too uncomfortable with his own emotions to feel charitable about seeing them reflected in his 2IC. Besides, Major Samantha Carter didn't cry when she was being tortured by Jaffa, it was unsettling to see her upset.

"I guess the reality that we may never go home is setting in." Her answer surprised him. But it really shouldn't, he reasoned. He was fighting the same feelings. He searched for something to say to reassure her. She meant a lot to him, more than he cared to admit, he didn't like seeing her giving up hope.

"Oh, Hammond'll keep us supplied with everything we'll need until we can figure this out." Ok, lame O'Neill, he thought, barely able to keep from wincing at his own words. She dropped her head and turned partially away from him. The sea breeze caught her short blond locks and pushed them against her face. He wanted to reach out and offer her comfort so he shoved his hands into his pockets and looked for something innocent to say.

"It's a nice beach." He tried again, and this time he did wince at his inept tongue. He watched his Major's back tense. Looking closer at the officer beside him, he could see the anger barely concealed on her face. What was that about? His words might be a little lacking in the comfort department, but he couldn't see any reason for her to be mad at him. It wasn't his fault they had gotten stuck on some snake den of _iniquity._

Without warning, Carter spun on him so fast that he had to check himself to keep from stepping back. "It'd be a good excuse for you, wouldn't it?" she almost shouted at him. What the hell did she mean by that? Her behavior made no more sense than her words. He'd have bet his eye teeth that Sam Carter didn't have an insubordinate bone in her body. She'd stand up for something she believed in, he had no doubt about that, but not just to be ornery.

Jack studied her for a moment. He really didn't understand. "Huh?" Eloquent as usual O'Neill, he berated himself. What was it about this woman that caused some of the stupidest things to come out of his mouth before he was aware he was speaking?

"To do nothing for a while," she clarified. Her eyes flashed angrily at him but he could see that she was trying to rein in her temper. At least she was making an effort to remember who she was speaking to, but the tone of voice was getting to him as quickly as the confusion. He didn't tolerate insubordination and he hated not understanding what was happening with one of his team.

"What?" Jack questioned again, trying to remain reasonable, but feeling his own aggravation spike up a notch. This woman didn't go off for no reason, it had to be that damn machine.

"Forget it." The disgust in her tone snapped the last bit of hold he had on his irritation. He hadn't earned the eagles on his shoulders by being easy to push around. If she wanted a taste of Colonel O'Neill she was damn well going to get it. His hand snaked out and he spun her around to face him before the thought fully materialized in his brain.

"That would be, 'Forget it, Sir'," he said, his voice dropping dangerously low. Machine or no, he would not tolerate her pushing him. The chain of command was not there to be ignored because the going got tough and he certainly didn't take challenges to his authority well. She should know that.

"Oh, please—you think I'm keeping that up if we're stuck here forever?" Sam shot back, attempting to pull her arm from his grip. He didn't give an inch. She'd started this little battle and she damn sure wasn't walking away from it until he was done.

"Listen, Major…" he started.

"No way," she shot back interrupting him. She'd stopped trying to pull her arm from his grip, but she hadn't calmed down. Instead she took a step into his space and tilted her head back defiantly. She was breathing hard. He wasn't sure if it was their walk across the beach, her anger or something else. Challenge radiated off of her in waves. Was this how she looked when she fought with someone not in her chain of command? Was this how she looked in a lover's quarrel? He'd never seen her look so wild and sexy. The thought hit him like a runaway train. He felt his body tighten in response, but he didn't back off or allow her to.

If Major Samantha Carter wanted to play at this little game, he wasn't going to be the one to give ground. Jack grabbed her other arm and hauled her across the few inches that separated them. He'd been braced for the impact of her weight against his chest, but he hadn't been prepared for either of their reactions to the contact of her soft flesh pressed against his chest. It left him fighting for control of his body. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew they were both a bit out of control. A voice nagged at him to let go and take a step back, but feeling her pressed against him in challenge, her eyes flashing, her fingers curling into his shirt, Jack's body leapt with interest. He fought to keep from pressing his growing erection against her. Damn her for putting them in this position.


	2. Chapter 2 A rock and a hard place

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate or any of the characters you recognize. I'm just borrowing them for entertainment. There is no monetary gain and no copyright infringement intended. **The lines of dialog you recognize are from the show, the rest you don't recognize are from me.**

AN: Thank you Gategirl7 for the magic that is your beta skills. Thank you everyone for reading and all of you reviewing!

Note: The rating changed for this chapter. I tried to keep it in "T" but Sam and Jack seemed to get a bit carried away. Nothing too bad, but wanted to make sure everyone noticed the rating change.

Previously: If Major Samantha Carter wanted to play at this little game, he wasn't going to be the one to give ground. Jack grabbed her other arm and hauled her across the few inches that separated them. He'd been braced for the impact of her weight against his chest, but he hadn't been prepared for either of their reactions to the contact of her soft flesh pressed against his chest. It left him fighting for control of his body. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew they were both a bit out of control. A voice nagged at him to let go and take a step back, but feeling her pressed against him in challenge, her eyes flashing, her fingers curling into his shirt, Jack's body leapt with interest. He fought to keep from pressing his growing erection against her. Damn her for putting them in this position.

Chapter 2 – A rock and a hard place.

Sam gasped as she found herself pulled hard against her CO's chest. It was like hitting an unmovable wall. He didn't budge and his hands on her upper arms were like vices. She'd made him mad, but so what, she thought recklessly. How dare he just blithely accept that they were going to be stuck here? He wasn't upset. He was getting to the end of his career, what did he have to lose, but hers was just starting.

"That's 'No way, Colonel.'," he corrected in a low, dangerous voice that made her heart jump and a shiver race up her spine. She leaned away from him as best she could to get a better look at his face. His features were tight, but not just with anger. His nostrils were flared as if he was scenting her and his eyes were almost black with intensity. His hands flexed into her skin painfully before he seemed to catch himself and loosen his hold, but only marginally. He wasn't allowing her to lean very far away from him. She'd never seen him this way. He'd never physically restrained her before. Her heart sped up and tingles raced down her spin, pooling in her belly.

Sam suddenly found it hard to breathe. "I'm supposed to accept that. That's the way it's going to be?" she prodded, simultaneously excited and terrified of pushing Jack past the control he was obviously struggling with. She shifted slightly, releasing the pressure she'd been using to push herself back from him. He didn't have time to compensate for her sudden lack of resistance to his hold and she found herself crushed against his chest as he took a step back to keep them upright. Pressed against the hard contours of his body, she instinctively wanted to rub against him through the layers of their clothes. Fighting the impulse, she shifted her stance and put her hands on flat on his chest to find more leverage. The movement made her aware that his interest in her was not just professional anymore. Sam had long ago admitted to herself that she was very attracted to her handsome charismatic leader, but feeling the evidence that he returned that interest in spades shocked her. She jerked her hip away, but even that small contact sent warmth spreading through her body and pooling in her center.

"That's the way it is," he informed her harshly, capturing her wrists and stopping her attempts to put distance between them. He transferred both of her hands in one of his. She'd always been a strong woman, but as she tested his grip, she realized that he had control of her and she wouldn't be walking away from him until he was ready. As always, he was in command with very little effort. Was that how she was supposed to spend the rest of her life on this god forsaken planet? Was she just supposed to accept his rule in all things because he outranked her on a world they would probably never see again or because he was physically stronger than her?

Sam searched Jack's face. She could see his anger clearly written in the tightness of his jaw, the tension in his shoulders, but when she met his eyes, she could see something else there. He wanted her. It wasn't just his body reacting to hers. There was a burning in his gaze that she couldn't mistake. In an age old primal instinct, her body had recognized his interest before she'd consciously caught on. She'd been fighting her reaction, but when she acknowledged it the flood gates opened. Her nipples tightened even as fingers of warmth in her belly built.

An idea hit her. It was risky, but she could handle it. What did it matter anyway? It wasn't like they were going home again. Besides, he was using the strength of his body to subdue her, why shouldn't she use all of her strengths against him? "What difference does it make?" she asked, becoming pliant in his arms and taking a step into him. "It's not up to you." The breathlessness in her voice surprised her. She'd been going for confident, sexy, but his closeness was wrecking havoc on her own control. When the Colonel opened his mouth she assumed he was about to give her a dressing down, she didn't give him the chance. Sam pressed her thigh against the erection he'd been trying to keep her from noticing. At the same time she tilted her head back intending to kiss him, but she didn't have the chance. Jack growled low in his throat, he released her hands to tangle his in her hair and hold her still as he took possession of her mouth.

Fire swept through her body when he bit sharply into her bottom lip in a demand to open to him. She shivered in excitement as she allowed him access. He'd always been so controlled, she'd rarely seen him lose his temper, but the man holding her against him, claiming her mouth was anything but controlled. She slid her arms to his shoulders to steady herself as she learned his taste. Jack swallowed the moan that escaped her. She didn't have time to think as his right hand slid to her rear and cupped her, urging her tighter against him.

Sam's head was spinning. She used her arms to pull herself up and wrapped her legs around his hips. The position brought the length of his manhood fully against her sensitive center. Jack groaned and broke the kiss, trying to thrust into her heat, both of them frustrated by the clothing between them. He searched her eyes for a moment, she thought he might be about to pull away from her, his look was a combination of need and question. The sensations buffeting her body were too powerful for her to want them to end. She met his thrust as best she could while maintaining her balance, thanking the gym for her stomach muscles as she was able to slide her soft heat against his answering hardness more fully. She inhaled sharply and bit her lip as new sensations rippled up from the new contact.

Jack's response was immediate, his eyes dilated further and he groaned, letting go of her with one hand and cupping the back of her head to bring her back to his mouth. She felt surrounded by him, possessed. Sam wasn't even aware that Jack was walking until her back hit the solid stone wall of one of the statues that lined the beach. As soon as he had her supported between the solid wall of the statue and his body, he leaned his upper body back from her slightly, without breaking the kiss, and slid his hands under her jacket, pushing it from her shoulders.

Sam wanted to feel Jack's flesh against hers, but in her position she couldn't do more than hold on as the waves of desire built in her. She arched against him, pulling away from him and moaning loudly when she felt his fingers on her bare breast. She'd felt him push her jacket off her shoulders, but when had he gotten her t-shirt un-tucked and his hands inside her bra? Questions fled her mind as he rolled her swollen buds between his finger and thumb, sending cascading waves of pleasure through her body. She couldn't help moaning again, louder as he continued to pluck at her, sending her higher.

With a groan, Jack stilled and slid his hand out of her bra and to her waist. Surprised, Sam raised her eyes to his face. The regret she saw there, mixed in with the passion, made her heart sink. He was winning the fight to get himself under control and stop what was happening between them. Sam involuntarily whimpered at the loss of contact when Jack took a step back and helped her to stand. "Carter," his voice was far from steady. "You're in withdrawal."

From him, she thought. She felt like she was in withdrawal from him. Her body still hummed, but the feeling was fading and she didn't want it to. "Oh," she whispered, as much to herself as to him. "I'm in withdrawal?" She acknowledged, mostly just repeating the words. Was this it then, would they go back to the light room? Her heart clenched.

"Yes! So am I." His voice was sharp and still not steady, but there was a kindness to it that warmed her in new ways. Sam dropped her eyes away from his. She wasn't ready to see the look of regret on his face again. She wasn't sorry for what happened and it hurt that he was. Her eyes landed on his pants where she'd been rubbing against him. She'd been so close to the edge and he hadn't even been inside her. Without thinking, she reached for the wetness she'd left where his pants still bulged.

"I'm sorry," she said running her fingers up the hard ridge of him and looking up at him through her lashes. "I got you wet, Sir."

"Oh God, Carter," he panted, closing his eyes and obviously fighting for control. The look on his face was almost of pain. "I'm doing everything I can to not put you back against that wall and take you here and now, but I'm losing it. You've got walk away. Give me a minute, go find Teal'c."

Sam studied the man standing barely a foot in front of her, eyes closed in concentration, hands fisted at his side, waiting to hear her leave. Making a decision, she reached for her pants and unfastened them, pushing them and her underwear down her legs. She couldn't move well, her boots were still on and her legs were trapped by her pants, but she didn't need to go far. She reached for her Colonel again and this time added pressure when she slid her hand across the straining ridge of his desire.

Jack's eyes shot open. "Sir," she started, trying to keep her voice steady, "stop fighting. I want you to put me back against that wall," she whispered, not breaking eye contact. "I'd find it a little hard to walk away right now anyway." She glanced down at her pants around her ankles, knowing his gaze would follow and feeling her face flame with color. At the same time she stroked him once more, unsure if he'd stop her. Sam was rewarded as his length jumped under her hand.

She was hoping that he'd touch her, reach for her, but he didn't move. For a moment she thought he was going to pull away from her. "I'm not a gentle man, Sam, and I'm running pretty hot here. You deserve better than this place." She deserved better than him and the way he'd take her, she heard the words he didn't speak, read them in his face. She'd never seen him so intense. Jack's words thrilled and scared her, but she didn't hesitate. He might think she wanted soft music and rose petals, but that wasn't who they were. They walked alien planets together. This was exactly where she wanted to be.

"This place is just fine and I'm not asking you to be gentle." She didn't know if her words snapped his control or the constant play of her hand across the most sensitive area of his body was the final straw. Jack O'Neill moved like a big cat cornering his kill. He caught her waist, lifting her slightly and stepped over the tangle of her pants pressing his hip between her legs. He used his body to encourage her to spread herself for him. Sam moaned in anticipation and complied allowing him to lift her and bring her legs around his hips. Her pants cuffed her ankles, trapping him in the circle of her body and limiting her ability to move her legs. If he didn't support her she'd have no way to recover her balance, she thought, reaching for him and wrapping her arms around the tanned column of his neck.

In the next step Jack had her back supported once again by the statue. He balanced her with one hand under her holding her against him. When he rolled his hips slightly it moved her center away from him. She could feel his manhood, pulsing through his pants along the crack of her ass. She tried to roll her heated flesh back against him. She wanted his pressure against the jumble of nerves already sending shock waves through her body. She wanted to climb high again like she'd been when she'd been rubbing herself across him.

Jack didn't speak, but when she started to squirm he used the hand supporting her to grab the tail of her shirt and pull without letting go of his hold on her butt. The t-shirt wasn't very long. The cotton collar bit into her neck and forced her head back, effectively forcing her to roll back into the position he'd put her in moments ago. She opened her mouth to protest, to tell him she wanted more, but he tightened the shirt on her throat slightly, cutting her off. She met his eyes and got the message. She'd given him permission to take her however he wanted. Hell, she'd asked him to even when he'd warned her. She was in his hands now and he was in control. A thrill shot through her, making her moan louder.

Jack's smile at her moan was full of the alpha male she'd always known him to be. He didn't take his eyes from hers as he reached between them and slid a finger into her wetness. She hissed through her teeth and rocked slightly. The shirt tightened again and she stilled. He wasn't penetrating her, just caressing her wetness until she thought she'd explode. "Jack," she pleaded when he once again slid his finger alongside the bundle of nerves her position exposed, but didn't linger long enough. He looked down at where his fingers were playing. Sam knew she was blushing at his scrutiny. "I knew you'd be just like I've seen you in my head," he told her, not looking up as he slid one long finger inside her and crooked it as if he was beckoning someone to come closer.

The sensation shot through her, making her bite her lip to keep from crying out at the intensity. She was so close. Her skin burned with the impulses racing across her. "Come for me, Sam," he instructed, stroking her insides again. She'd never been able to disobey one of his commands and she didn't disappoint either of them now as she dug her nails into his shoulders and crested in his hand.

Jack watched his beautiful major break apart from his touch. His body pulsed so hard and ready that it was almost painful. Shifting her slightly he unzipped his pants and freed himself. He looked back at her face. Her eyes were closed and she was arched up as she rode the waves of her climax. Not wanting to bring Teal'c running to them, but not wanting to wait to bury himself in her, he released the pressure of the t-shirt and closed his mouth on hers as she allowed her head to come forward.

Sam kissed him back, still moaning as he swept his tongue into the soft recesses of her mouth. He pressed pressed her head back until he was sure she couldn't pull away from his kiss as he rolled his hips and used his other hand to line his throbbing erection up with the entrance to her wet passage. She'd come hard, her body was as relaxed and ready for him as it was going to get, but he knew she'd be tight on him. She'd hugged his finger as he'd petted her G-spot. The part of his body he intended to penetrate her with next was considerably larger than his finger. He didn't want to hurt her, but she was his and even if he couldn't say so, he could make sure she knew so. Her moisture ran across him, reminding him how ready she was for him. Unable to wait, Jack thrust forward, burying himself in her warmth. She was surprised by his penetration and cried out into his mouth so loudly he was sure she'd have alerted their Jaffa companion no matter how far down the beach he was if Jack hadn't been kissing her.

As much as he wanted to keep thrusting, he didn't move for a moment feeling her body flutter around him. She rocked trying to adjust his position within her. He broke the kiss and reached for her hips with both hands supporting her and tilting her so that he could fully seat himself in her moist depths. She moaned again and rocked with him as he pulled back and thrust into her just as deeply as before. Satisfied that she was stretching for him and not in pain, Jack picked up the pace of his thrusts. He wanted her to crest with him again, but as he pounded into her over and over he felt his own release threaten.

Jack found it hard to breath. Sam was whimpering his name into his ear, clinging to him while adding her own strength to their rhythm. He was surprised at her flexibility, but not that she met him thrust for thrust. He'd always known she'd be a perfect match for him.

When Sam went rigid and her body began to contract around his, the last bit of Jack's control snapped. Her orgasm fueled his. He was so close and she was so damn responsive to his body that he mindlessly followed her over the edge and broke apart with her, unable to hold back. Jack buried his head in Sam's neck, trying to keep from shouting loud enough to bring everyone on the planet running. She shuddered once more in his arms as drove into her one final time, wrapping his arms around her and keeping her tightly against him. His body quieted slowly. Somehow he'd managed to keep from screaming out his climax, but he wasn't sure quite how or if she'd screamed hers. He'd discovered she was quite vocal. That was something he loved, but not when being stealthy.

That thought brought the reality of their situation rushing back to him. It was everything he could do not to take a horrified step back from her. She depended on him, he was her CO and he'd taken advantage of her, but he couldn't find enough regret to wipe out the rightness of how it had felt to claim her.


	3. Chapter 3 Secret Desires

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate or any of the characters you recognize. I'm just borrowing them for entertainment. There is no monetary gain and no copyright infringement intended. **The lines of dialog you recognize are from the show, the rest you don't recognize are from me.**

AN: Last Chapter! Thank you for all the kind words. Thank you again to my awesome beta Gategirl7.

Previously:

That thought brought the reality of their situation rushing back to him. It was everything he could do not to take a horrified step back from her. She depended on him, he was her CO and he'd taken advantage of her, but he couldn't find enough regret to wipe out the rightness of how it had felt to claim her.

Chapter 3 – Secret Desires

Slowly, Jack withdrew from the warmth of Sam's body. She shivered and lifted her head from where she rested against the side of his neck. Reluctantly, he took a step back out of the circle of her legs and the pants still joining them. "Sir, we...," her voice was shaky and she wasn't looking at him. Jack's own legs weren't too steady.

"Shh, Sam," he couldn't bring himself to use her rank right now. "Get dressed, we're lucky Teal'c hasn't come to find us yet." That thought hadn't seemed important a few minutes ago. Thankfully, she only nodded. He wasn't ready to hear her call him Colonel or Sir yet. He could still smell her scent on him. His body was still humming from having finally claimed her.

"O'Neill. Major Carter," Teal'C's voice sounded from further along the beach. Jack couldn't see the big Jaffa, but just in case, he stepped in front of Sam, blocking view of her with his body as she finished dressing. She didn't say anything as Teal'c became visible coming around some rocks jutting where the beach curved. Her face was closed off. He wasn't sure what she was thinking. Hell, he wasn't sure what he was thinking. Did she regret what had just happened? Would she report him for a court marshal? She should, if they ever got back to Earth. He looked down at her and caught her eye as they approached Teal'c. The emotions he saw there mirrored his own.

Jack tried to reassure her with his eyes before turning back to his alien teammate. "I believe I have located the parents of Loran," Teal'c informed them, turning to lead them in the direction he'd come from. Jack stepped back to allow Sam to follow first.

"Good job, Teal'c," Jack said, trying to put some enthusiasm in his voice. They clustered around two bodies turned mostly to bone, half buried in the sand.

"Sir," Sam's voice was mostly normal as she addressed him. Nothing like danger on an alien plant to get them back in military mode, he thought cynically. He should be holding her, reassuring her that he... what? That you what O'Neill? Jack asked himself. He was still her commanding officer. "These bodies were buried. Look at the rocks placed around them. Loran knew his parents were dead all along." Yeah, he'd come to the same conclusion. With a sigh, Jack nodded at her words. He wasn't looking forward to confronting the kid. Being stranded on an alien world, alone except for two addicted parents was a tough break, but the kid needed to come clean with them. Maybe he'd have some clue how to fix this and turn off the machine.

"Let's go talk to Loran," Jack ordered. "Take point, Teal'c." Teal'c turned back down the beach and Carter turned to follow. Things were feeling more normal between them, but he knew they needed to talk, he just had no idea what to say.

As they approached the structure that housed the addictive light show, Teal'c surprised him by stopping in their path and turning back to them. "What's up, T?" Jack glanced at Sam and could see the same question in her face. The big warrior didn't speak for a moment as if he was considering his words first.

"Now that we know the purpose of this place, I have seen devices that work in similar ways when in the service of Apophis." The man looked apologetic, troubled. Did he blame himself for not recognizing what this place was and telling them in time?

"Not your fault, T," Jack assured him. "You didn't know what it was at first. I'm guessing the snakehead didn't use these places much when you were First Prime, not his drug of choice."

"That is so, O'Neill," his friend agreed. "But not for the reasons you may believe. Apophis enjoyed such activities, but he found it too troublesome to control the humans in his service during such times. Their actions were too unpredictable once exposed. It was said that places such as these lowered the inhibitions of even those thought most loyal to their masters. The humans had little control to stop themselves from undertaking impulses they felt strongly about. Their secret desires often were acted upon, whether that was to run away, to kill their oppressors, or to give in to other desires they would dare not express at any other time." Teal'c studied each in turn for a moment before turning and heading inside.

"Was he trying to tell us what I think he was?" Jack asked turning very slowly to his 2IC. He wasn't sure he was ready to face her.

"I think so, Sir," she answered softly, before turning wide blue eyes on him. "He knows." Jack didn't deny her words. He wasn't surprised. If he'd been in his right mind, he'd have known that the protective warrior would never have allowed teammates he knew to have their judgments compromised to fall that far behind without checking to make sure they were ok. He could see that the same thought was dawning on the young officer beside him. A flush was spreading up her neck and across her cheeks.

"Don't over think, Carter," he warned as gently as he knew how. They had a lot to sort out and he wasn't sure where to start. She had every right to blame him for not protecting her from all this and now their teammate might have witnessed them breaking the fraternization rules. Not to mention how she must feel about what he might have seen.

"A little hard to do, Sir," she told him. That he understood. She surprised him when she touched his sleeve and finally met his eyes for the first time since he'd withdrawn from her body and stepped back from her. "Colonel," she started, obviously drumming up the nerve to say something. Jack braced himself, the awkwardness she felt was a clear indicator what was coming. Here it comes, the recriminations. His stomach clenched sickly. Well, at least he had to respect the fact that she'd tell him to his face how she felt and not just report him for a court marshal. "Did I just end my career?" she asked, pulling herself up and standing nearly at attention in her nervousness.

"What?" he barked, shocked by her assumption. "Carter," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching for her. "I'm your commanding officer. It's my job to watch out for you, if anyone is to blame here it's me. If you want to bring me up on charges I won't deny that what happened was my responsibility." How could he?

She looked honestly shocked. "You told me how close you were to losing control. You asked me to walk away." Her shoulders relaxed a little but the tension was still there. "I couldn't bring you up on charges. It was my choice not to walk away." She rubbed her hand over her face again. She was still wound pretty tight.

"Spill, Sam, what else is going on in that brain of yours? We both know we have some stuff to deal with, but you look like someone killed your dog. Say what you have to say." He could understand why she would have that reaction to having shared her body with him. He was many years her senior and not exactly a catch for someone with her brains and looks, not to mention the eagle shaped off limit signs on his uniform.

"What Teal'c said about secret desires," she hesitated, licking her lips and searching his face. "Can you ever work with me again? Can we stay on SG1? This team means the world to me, Sir, but now that you know my inappropriate feelings are that deep..." She wasn't rejecting him, she was worried about him rejecting her. The thought hit him hard.

"Sam," he interrupted, grasping her shoulders, finally unable to fight his impulse to touch her. "I will say again, you were not there alone. I was the one holding you against that wall so intent on you that I could have gotten us killed. What if Teal'c had been a hostile alien?" He stopped and gathered his thoughts. God, he didn't do emotions, but he'd be damned if he'd see this woman in this much distress. "It's that damn machine, Sam. It lowered both of our inhibitions to the point we acted in ways we never would have before. I've got to believe that no matter how deep the attraction, without this machine we would not have compromised this mission. I have to believe that we will find a way out of this and we will continue to operate as the most kick ass team at the SGC." It was as reasonable and reassuring as he could be. It was what he truly wanted to happen.

She considered his words. He could see her brain computing. "Secret desires don't mean nonexistent desires, Major," he used her rank deliberately. "You going to stand there and tell me that today just happened out of the blue?"

"No, Sir," she agreed. He could see the light bulb going off in her head. "We've had these feeling for a while and we've been fine as a team. Without the machine we would have never acted inappropriately." He nodded at her and was relieved to see her shoulders relax. Satisfied that they had settled things enough to hold them off until a more appropriate time, Jack turned. He needed to go and find the kid and see what progress Daniel had made.

"Colonel," Sam's voice stopped him in his tracks, her tone was soft and full of resigned acceptance. She'd come to some kind of decision and he had the feeling he wasn't going to like it. "There might be a problem, Sir," she told him carefully. He raised an eyebrow at her in question.

"And what would that be, Major?" he asked, no idea what she was going to say.

"I can't lie to you about this," she started, running a hand down her neck to ease the tension. Her movement revealed the top of her shoulder where the shirt normally covered, showing him a bruise on her creamy skin. It was in the shape of a bite mark. He didn't remember doing that, but now he knew how he'd stopped himself from shouting out his climax. The sight twisted his gut. He was perversely glad she wore his mark. How was he going to keep this professional between them?

"Jack," oh god she'd called him by his name. "I don't think I can forget what it feels like to be with you." He froze, he hadn't been expecting that. Unsure what to say, if he should tell her he felt the same Jack didn't move, he just listened. "I want SG1 more than I have ever wanted anything before. I can't lose that, but I can't lie to you and tell you that I can just forget how you make me feel." The hurt in her eyes was his undoing. He was being as stoic and strong as he knew how, but faced with her feelings that too closely mirrored his own, Jack was at a loss. He wasn't sure how they might work things out, but was suddenly very sure he wanted them to try.

"Sam, we can't do anything about this now, but I'm not sure I can give you up either." He reached out and ran a finger down the side of her neck where the collar had settled back over his mark in her skin. "Sounds like we have a lot to talk about when we get back," he told her. Smiling and squeezing her shoulder. "We'll figure this out. I mean, if you're sure that's want you want."

Sam smiled the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen light up her face. "It's what I want, no matter how we have to get there." Jack heart lifted. She wanted him. The woman that had inhabited his dreams for years really wanted him. They would figure something out. "Well, I guess you better go in here and save our asses Major" he told her. "So we can get home and get this sorted out."

"Yes, Sir," she answered, a twinkle in her eye. This had been a very good day, Jack decided.


End file.
